Black Presidents Month

01 Feb 2005:

The annual Pagan ritual of Groundhog's Day in Essex, Ct was certainly a sight to see! The event is marked by the appearance of eD, the all-powerful gopher god of dirt, as he makes his way through the streets. We, eD's loyal followers, followed in obedience to our great master as we banged pots and pans to harken His arrival. After he made his way to the rotary shrine of eDnity, the drinking of the sheeps' blood and virgin sacrifices began. Fortunately, there were plenty of small children readily available for the sacrifices.

Afterwards, eD commanded that we follow him to the promised land. We followed Him as he lead the masses off of the docks and into the river. Fortunately, the great rodent god did not abandon the worthiest of His followers. Four of us managed to climb upon His divine plexiglass body and He brought us to the promised land of Hadlyme. Everyone else either drowned or was eaten by seagulls. In Hadlyme, we encountered savage natives. But they were easily subdued by our firewater and large firearms. And they all lived happily ever after. ALL HAIL eD!!!

I think I had waaaaaaay too much cold medicine today!

I can feel your heart in motion

Deep and in your heart and passion

Life goes on and are we loving

Travel in the surface of time

Namida de nijinda kono sora wo miageru tabi

Every time I look up at this sky stained with tears

Hakanai aosaga mune wo shimetsuketeku

Its empty blueness squeezes my heart

Sadame nara kanashimi no hate made tatakai tsuzuketa hibi no ato ni

If the aftermath of my sorrow in the endless days of fighting was my destiny

Life goes on

Moeagaru inochi ga aru kagiri

As long as I still have my burning soul

Shinjitsu ga jibun sae miushinai sou sore demo

That's right, even if the truth loses sight of me

Life goes on

Mamoritakute

I wanted to protect it

Kokoro wa kudakarete

But your heart was shattered

Hontou no kanashimi wo shitta hitomi wa ai ni afurete

And those eyes which know true sorrow were filled with love

~Arisaka Mika

06 Feb 2005:

Here I sit in Boston, Mass. with 6 Coors inside of me and not even a buzz to speak for it. All the kids are wasted and I'm playing revolution with the girls. Chris will not stop runninng his mouth unless he is passed out. He is gonna find himself suckin' on car fumes in his garage at this rate. He just ruins the entire Boston experience with his constant, nonsensical blabbering. Face turns my nose into a river and my eyes into iching balls of pain.

I don't mean to complain so much. I know it's rather immature, but I'm just not happy with the fact that I have to deal with an additional year of school for what turned out to be no reason at all. I want my commission, I want to finish school and I want all my work to finally have SOME signifigance and it was so STUPID of me to put that off for an entire year and a half when I could've had it by now. Our society loves to look down on and belittle anyone who doesn't go to college. Well, if our lives are so marvelous, what exactly do we have to show for it? What's so wonderful about college? I work for years on end, amounting to a four-digit number. And all that work is either wrong, not good enough, and/or irrelevant. With any luck, I'll get that job at AFIT this summer, or at least a PDT.

I suppose that's rather selfish of me to say since I've got such great friends & family here in New England who are all great people. But the fact is that I've never really fit in here with anyone for very long, not even with my own family. And recent events have only reinforced that belief.

Everyone my age seems compelled to drink to the point of idiotic behavior in order to feel good about themselves and/or have a good time. Because when that happens, I end up having to be the designated driver, or the designated escort and generally the designated adult to take care of everybody else. I'd rather do it than risking one of my friends getting raped or killed, but after seven years it starts to kinda suck. The fact is, I don't mind drinking, at least not as much as I used to. And I enjoy having a few Sammy's with some good friends at a pub or somebody's place. But I primarily enjoy THEIR COMPANY. The beer is just there to help unwind, not as a means to get shit-faced to the point of ridiculous immaturity. I had enough of that in junior high and high school and it did not end very well. I'm too old and too young all at once and it's rather frustrating, not to mention lonely. Which, once again, leaves me anxious to get my commission so that I can maybe meet some people who have grown beyond getting wasted every weekend.

Maybe moving to Ohio will be a good thing for me. And maybe it'll be a complete waste of time, just like pretty much everything else in my life right now. I just need something more in my life; something with meaning. Too often I feel like the only thing getting me through the day is the momentum left behind by the last 3.5 years and that's not gonna get me through to May '06. Or maybe I just need to "unfuck" myself 'cuz I'm expecting way too much out of life and I should just be happy with the fact that I don't have as many burdens to carry as others.

Sometimes, I wish that I could drop everything, leave it all behind and just go. But that would probably be the most selfish and irresponsible thing I could ever do. Besides, FedGov would hunt me down and throw me into a small cell for breaking my contract with the Air Force. Besides, it probably wouldn't do me any good since wherever I am, I just want to be someplace else.

Well, this has been a particularly moody journal entry. Elissa says that I'm too stand-offish and that I should "open up" to more people in my life. Yeah, I've already tried that once and I've seriously relapsed into my standalone complex ever since. Oh well, Sweetheart, you're the psych major! I'm just another poor, crazed Engineering major slowly going insane.

FINAL THOUGHT: Oh yeah, this sinus infection isn't much fun neither!

07 Feb 2005:

Unnngggh. I think I may have pushed myself a little too far too fast today 'cuz I am burnt out. And tomorrow is gonna be a very busy day that will start very early. At least the day is filled with lectures class-wise so it shouldn't be too high-impact. Gotta get the tix for Kevin Smith's appearance Wednesday night at Jorgenson. That's gonna be mint! Of course, I'm gonna have to find something else to look forward to sometime between then and Spring Break. "I guess that's just the price you pay when you're living day to day." Carry on.

Bobert, the Incredible, Giant Snail, has died. I am sad. I suppose now I should get some algae cleaner for the tank.

Woke up this morning at 0600 with a fever of 101*F. Missed my stats class and my microprocessor lab. That's gonna be a bite outta my arse!

However, I was feeling better come noon. Got a call from Radio Shak for my replacement DVD burner, which I'm gonna pick up on my way out today. And, I've got 11 CD's that need to be shipped out today as well. I listened to the new Sum41 album, Chuck, today and it was pretty mint. My favorite trax are 07 - Open Your Eyes & 16 - Subject to Change. I'm gonna have to finish my SMASH 2004 mixes at some point. Hopefully, once I'm done going over all this new music, I can make that happen.

I was pondering what I should write my microcontroller presentation on when a small Shark Tale LCD handheld video game popped out of the box of Cheerios and into my cereal bowl. I thought to myself, "There HAS to be a microcontroller in there somewhere! Where are my screwdrivers?" Unfortunately, the device was remarkably assembled and I couldn't get it open just then. But later today, I'll get my drill!

I finally found someone on IRC last night with the new theme singles from GUNDAM SEED Destiny! Their name is Leto, named after the duke from Frank Herbert's Dune, I'm assuming. I think that Life Goes on is really an amazing song for an anime theme, and I'm glad that they put it in Destiny.

Bryant submitted the Jew City pic to Collegehumor.com. Now it's legally they're property. Oh well.

IT IS BEAUTIFUL OUTSIDE!!! I wish everyone wasn't at work or school until the sun goes down. Maybe I'll go out and shoot some hoops later or clean my filthy, filthy car.

08 Feb 2005:

Now here's something you don't read about every day! Apparantly, one in every 50,000 women is born with a double uterus. I guess that must mean twice as much fun every lunar cycle.

Have you ever had one of those days when you wake up at 5:15 in the morning, drive an hour to school, perform an hour of Physical Training starting at 6:30, then shower in a nasty-ass gym, followed by an 8:00 AM class in micro optics that lasts an hour and a half. I call those days "Tuesdays".

But, it's all good. Really, really good. Seriously, there's no better way to start your day 'cuz it gets you all fired up, fired up, fired up, FIRED UP, YEAH!!!

I need a nap. And it's only 10:15 AM! I know some students that aren't even awake yet! I should call them.

According to the counter, I've been getting quite a few hits here this month. So, if you're reading this, I just want you to know that I appreciate the interests. Visitors have been pretty low in the past couple months and I had almost given up on this thing. I guess it's because most of my friends are in college and they're more likely to be tooling around cyberspace when they're at school than when they're at their parents with their ridiculously slow dial-up internet. Anyways, you guys are awesome! You may want to spend a little less time in front of a computer screen. But, yeah, you guys are awesome. Especially my Beer Brewing Buddies from Bean Town!

"Illegal Operation"? Hooray, time to reboot the government issued computer. Actually, I don't think this computer is EVEN gov't issue! I think Captain Radulski found it in a dumpster somewhere on campus! Just like that receiver that Dave gave me!

No, seriously, I need that nap now.

<2148> Air Power, indeed! WOOHOO!!! 9 hits in one day! And there's still a couple hours left! And none of them were me, by the way, 'cuz I set my counter to ignore my IP everytime I logged in to update the entry. Time for some celebratory Z's! Zzzzzzzzzzzz... Haha. No, seriously, I'm REALLY tired. Good night!

<2157> Oh yeah, and don't forget those Air Force Academy moves! EVERYBODY DANCE NOW!!!

10 Feb 2005:

<0847>: HOLY SPIDER MONKIES THAT WAS AWESOME!!! Kevin was over an hour late, I guess he was driving all the way from NJ and got a speeding ticket. In the meantime, SUBOG was having Kevin Smith trivia and acting out skits for backstage passes. If I had known that there would have been absolutely NO questions related to Jersey Girl, I would have gone up. The people sitting next to me & Bob left so Dmo got to sit with us and Kevin finally arrived.

"Because I'm so late and because my mother always said never go to Connecticut alone 'cuz it's filled with white people, I brought a friend with me. Oh, Friend! Friend? Where are you, Friend?"

And out comes Jay Mewes wearing nothing but a towell. I guess he was showering back stage. Kevin was great by himself, but the two of them together was just a riot. Did you know that Kevin has a dog named Scully? That's friggin awesome! I also learned that his daughter played Baby Silent Bob in the opening for JSBSB.

"What a horrible thing that is for a child to see: herself as a baby morphing into her fatass father. That's gonna put her on the couch someday. Probably blow all the money I ever made on a therapist. Probably even blow the therapist, himself."

My personal favorite: "The God from the Old Testament is a prick. 'Here's paradise, here's a naked woman, do whatever the hell you want! Don't touch that tree! Do NOT touch that tree! C'mere, check this out! They're gonna touch the tree! They're gonna do it..... Oh! That's it! You're outta here! You have to work for an insurance company from now on! And you? You're forever torn between your own identity and having children!'"

Towards the end, Jay came out into the audience so we all got to hang out for a bit, get our tix stubs signed and bullshit WITH JASON FUCKING MEWES!!! I SHOOK HIS FUCKING HAND, IT WAS FUCKING AWESOME!!! FONT DOESN'T GET BIG ENOUGH, OR BOLD ENOUGH, OR CAPITALIZED ENOUGH TO EXPRESS HOW PSYCHED I WAS!!! Towards the end he started getting pissed 'cuz he was getting swamped and the management was ragging on him to get Kevin off the stage (Kevin felt bad that he was so late and said he wanted to stay 'till like 2 in the morning) and because he wanted to go to play poker. There are very few experiences in life that are more funny than sitting ten feet away from Jason Mewes as he screams, "Smith, hurry the fuck up! I wanna go to Foxwoods!"

Ohhhhhhh... it was great! I'm just sorry that there were so many immature fools in the audience with really [stupid] questions that were meant to be funny but were just really stupid. I wish I had gone up for those backstage passes. Oh well, at least I got to meet Jay!

<2346>: I'm out of commission again. I think I may have the flu. And I have a strange craving for fudgesicles. I was in my AS400 lecture and all of a sudden my whole body felt like it had been hit by a 16-wheeler and that the driver then put the truck in reverse and back over me slowly, then threw it in first again and slowly ran me over a third time. I missed Lead Lab and I felt bad 'cuz Kowalski's got enough crap right now w/o picking up my slack. I guess even genetic augmentation can't protect you from a virus. This sux!

"Doesn't anyone feel the grief of all people all at once? Isn't one tear bad enough? Isn't one life too much to lose? How then do you handle walking past a thousand ended lives buried underground?"

25 Feb 2005:

<1757>: "I'm not dead yet!" My online life lately has been practically nonexistant lately. Getting sick two weeks ago put me way behind in my school work and I've been focusing on that entirely ever since. As a result, I've only been coming home to set my alarm and sleep. I even moved ALL of my textbooks into my car because it saved time! Actually, I'm still not ENTIRELY caught up thanks to our Presidential Snow Storm on Monday. That's what the system gets for not giving us the day off! I spent the day in Ashford watching some kind of reality television program on Spike about Sports Illustrated swimsuit models with Emmy. Heheh... I actually got her to sit in front of a television for about three hours straight! Of course, she had to go to UConn to get work done eventually and I ended up studying for my Micro/Opto-Electronic Devices exam, which I didn't end up doing all that well on anyways. Badgers!

What else... oh yes! I saw Constantine last weekend with Heather, Dave, and Ryan, which was an awesome movie! Ryan got a full scholarship this past Thursday at Lead Lab too! Since we had some time before the movie we just kinda B.S.'d around Buckland Hills and went out to 99 after for dinner. It was kinda fun hanging out with the kids. Heather's just a ball of spastic energy and just all-around ridiculous but so much fun to be around. She reminds me a lot of someone that I used to know.

Gonna go see National Treasure at the UConn theater tomorrow night with Bob, Jay, and about a dozen folks from AFROTC. I love movie nights! And at $2 for UConn student, it's a damn fine bargain. Can't wait to see Jay again. Actually, I haven't seen Bob in a while either. But he's coming over tonight for a marination marathon and some Sci-Fi Friday! Sunday, I hope I'll be able to see Dad and the rest of the family in RI before I head down south. Speaking of family, I got a phone call from mMom today that they all made it back from France. Which is odd since I just got their postcard in the mail today. Not to mention my boot polish. Actually, TWO containers of boot polish! Maybe I'll give the extra one to Julie at the movies tomorrow.

Oh, and I went to dinner with Brendan, Julie and Matt G. last night at South and saw Matt Riggs & Martha! Matt's hair is HUGE and it's AWESOME!!! I told him to IM me sometime and we should hang out like the old days. He looked good and said he was doing well and I was really glad. Matt's an awesome guy for putting up with me for an entire school year, especially since I was a bit of a bastard in those days. And he's an awesome guy just 'cuz he's an awesome guy.

Uhhhh... let's see... scored a 78 on my STATS test. I think Melissa got a 72 and Dave Sprague's been out since Wednesday on Guard Duty so I don't know what he got, and I didn't get to talk to Martian to see what he got.

So... yeah. Bob's here and we're hungry. So aside from making this website... life has pretty much been the same as it ever was! Time for some Sweet N' Sour Chicken num nums. Jay's been sleeping for 14 hours and 56 minutes. Also gotta finish my resume for that job application to AFIT. Summer in Dayton, Ohio? Excellent!

27 Feb 2005:

<2246>: Happy Birthday Bryant! Happy Birthday Erin! I spent the afternoon in RI with the other Scullys and Aunt Jane, who just happened to be in New England today! Tommy gets to sit in on a creative meeting for the new season of Family Guy in L.A. I'm extremely jealous! We ate fish and cake and watched old home videos of previous joint birthday parties from 1986 and '87 and really old films of Gram's from the sixties. My family is a riot!

I couldn't get my application in because the entire AFIT website is down or I simply cannot access it outside of the Det, which is rather annoying since the Det is locked up on the weekends! Grrrr... I'll just have to do it first thing tomorrow. Which reminds me, I have PT at 0630 tomorrow morning and I should get to bed!

<2318>: Am I a loser because I listen to J-Pop? Or, do I listen to J-Pop because I'm a loser? One could go mad pondering this. So get crazy with the Cheez Wiz!

28 Feb 2005:

<2110>: "Bob Marley: poet and a prophet

Bob Marley taught me how to off it

Bob Marley walkin' like he talk it

Goodness me can't you see I'm gonna cough it?"

~Anthony Kiedis, Red Hot Chili Peppers

Bob Marley knows how to keep the blizzard blues away. Am I the only one bringing rollerblades to FL? I don't think that we can rent a car unless anyone has a fake ID or Bryant actually had FOUR birthdays all yesterday. Which reminds me, it was also Matt G. and Mark's birthday yesterday! Isn't that nuts? Mmmmm... chocolate Erin birthday cake and Bob Marley! How do you spell, "HAAUUGGHHLLLAAUUGGHHLLL"? I still gotta read the comics that I bought today before I call it an early night for an early rise for PT @ 0630 in Storrs. I should've spent the night in Ashford. Me Cray, you Abacus. Oh, speaking of which... well, not really "speaking", I guess more like: "texting of which"... what is wrong with the machines lately? Is John Connor gonna have to choke a terminatrix? First, a bazillion construction sites and slow-moving vehicles idelayed my arrival at Storrs by about 45 minutes. Then, I spent four hours straight trying to get my microprocessor board to display the last ten letters of the word "Connecticut" on the LCD display. Actually, I spent the first hour doing that. I spent the next three hours repairing the damage that Ligy wrought in the process of "fixing" my code. Then, the gas pump at the Mobile station kept shutting down like it was topped off but it was only putting in 50 cents at a time. So I left after I got $2.00 in my car and went to the grocery store. At the grocery store, the conveyer belt actually tried to EAT my X-MEN comic! Then, when I went to the Sunoco station (As seen in the hit motion picutre Fill the Tank Part #2: This Should Have Happened in Flanders) the card reader was broken. So, I pulled around to another tank. I guess $80 isn't enough money to have in your checking account for the machine to accept your debit card. So, I did it the old fashioned way and finally made it home and made meself a pizza.

In much better news, I got my application in for the AFIT internship in Dayton, Ohio. I'm REALLY hoping that I get into this program. Spending the summer in Ohio would be simply freaking awesome. Just... AWESOME!!! Don't get me wrong, I love New England. But I've been all around the whole wide world, been to countries that most Westerners have never even HEARD of, but I've never been anywhere in my home nation that isn't part of the east coast unless you count PA or GA and YOU KNOW THAT I DON'T!!!! And living in the midwest would be as cool as bricks. Not to mention the fact that it wouldn't interfere with my military obligations. But, of course, I have to be ACCEPTED into the program first. :-P Let's hope that the ol' Eagle Scout rank counts for SOMETHING!!! Heheh... Stabbing Westward.

"So just save yourself!"

"I am just as FUCKED as you!"

"These aren't the droids you're looking for."

I wanted to get a video camera, but I just don't have the funds for it right now. I'll just have to settle for 40 sec. snippets of video in FL. Maybe I could splurge for a GB Flash Memory card?

The hour of the wolf draws nigh, and I've been exhausted all day. Tomorrow, it's another day of Micro/Opto-Electronic Devices, Power Electronics, and the rest of the day in the lab making microprocessors serve mankind in various ways. I'll start work on the new quotes page, read my comics, and call it a day. 'Til next time!