Scullblog.homestead.com

09 November 2005:

Gary Johnston: Don't you see what's going on out there? Everyone hates us!

Spottswoode: Hey, now, everyone hated Winnie the Pooh, too.

Gary Johnston: No, they didn't!

Spottswoode: Well, I did. That cocksucking bear killed Jack Kennedy!

The Air Force doesn't have privates. At least, we don't call them "Privates". That's because we share them with EVERYONE!!!

last cigarette: 9th Grade

last car ride: Back Home From Amanda's

last good cry: Probably about a year ago

last library book checked out: Probably "Star Wars - The Truce at Bakura"

last movie seen: Jar-Head (Awesome!)

last book read: The Five Pillars of Total Quality Management

last curse word uttered: "Israeli"

last beverage drank: Sam Adams Boster Lager

last food consumed: Bacon Cheeseburger

last phone call: Kevin Shultis

last tv show watched: I watched a few seconds of "The West Wing". They were doing a mock live debate. It was retarded.

last shoes worn: My trademark Avia sneaks

last cd played: Led Zeppelin - Early Days

last item bought: Gas

last downloaded: "Abby takes a huge butt plug"

last annoyance: Always having to do laundry

last disappointment: Forgetting to do my Senior Design research

last soda drank: Pepsi cola

last thing written: "1400-SD meeting" ~in my weekly planner

last words spoken: "This is retarded"

last sleep: Last night

last IM: Amanda

last time hugged: Tonight, before I left Amanda's.

last time scolded: The guy in Buckland Hills 'cuz I was in the wrong lane during a traffic jam and it was my fault that he missed his left turn green light. At least his car wasn't on fire!

last chair sat in: My desk chair

last shirt worn: Grey, cotton T-shirt

last time dancing: Halloween

last poster looked at: Vida Guerra

last time you thought about violently hurting someone: Eh, I think I might get in trouble if I answered that.

22 November 2005:

That's what you get for running a red light and trying to threaten an old woman, you dumb bastard!

>>> CLICK HERE <<<

Cruelty to animals has never been this hilarious!

>>> CLICK HERE <<<

What To Do With Your Contacts For the Night When You Forget the Container (Part #2)

Classic Thanksgiving Hilarity! >>> CLICK HERE <<<

(Sung to the Tune of Funiculì, Funiculà):

Last night, I lay my head upon my pillow,

But stayed up late, to masturbate,

Last night, I lay myself upon my bed, but

I stayed awake, for pleasure's sake.

You should see me working on the short strokes,

It's really grand, I use my hand;

You should see me working on the long strokes,

It's really neat, I use my feet.

Smash it! Bash it! Pound it on the floor!

Whack it! Smack it! Ram it through the door!

Oh, it's so neat to beat your meat while sitting on the toilet seat,

Isn't life divine?

Funiculì, funiculà

Every crossword puzzle from every magazine I could find was done before 12 o'clock noon. I waited and waited for the phone call with anticipation that would challenge the feeling of a little boy waiting to get on the school bus on the last day. The phone rang. I gasped.

She said, "Hi."

I said, "Yes?"

They said, "Come."

I said, "Yes?"

They said, "No, come over here!"

I said, "No, here!"

I said, "We should flip for it"

They said, "I already have!"

I laughed and I grabbed a quarter and I said, "Call it."

They said, "Heads"

I said, "Tails!"

"It was tails!" I said to them in sheer satisfaction.

They said, "You win. I'll be right over."

I said, "Stop by and pick up some Hershey's Chocolate Syrup."

(It wasn't tails.......)

;-D